Joke

Joke jokes

Author

Why did the author go to the emergency room?

His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.

Machine

I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.

It just doesn’t make any cents!

Divorce

What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?

"May divorce be with you."

Cheese

What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.

What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.

Orphan

Guys, we should stop telling orphan jokes. Their parents will get mad. Oh...

Orphan

There should be a "kick an orphan" day.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Orphan

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.

Weight

You're so fat,

when you stepped on the scale,

Buzz Lightyear came out and said,

"To infinity and beyond!"

Candice

Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?

Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.

Me: What is that?

Siri: Sugondese nuts.

Bill Cosby

Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?

A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!

Kid

Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?

A: Give them a Happy Meal.