Joke jokes
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
Q: What did the person who invented the door knocker get?
A: A no-bell prize.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: "Doctor, Doctor, I broke my leg!" The doctor said: "I see..."
I have a daily routine where I take a crap every morning at 6 AM, but wake up at 7 AM. And it's not even a joke.
Why was the cow afraid?
Because he's a coward!
I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.
Kid #1: You're adopted.
Kid #2: At least they wanted me.
Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
What do KFC and a brothel have in common?
They’re both full of greasy chicks.
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!
What is red, pink, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What is green, brown, and goes round and round?
The same baby 3 weeks later.
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!