Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
Joke Jokes
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Q. What did one Iron atom say to the other Iron atom?
A. "We're in the Matrix."
Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
What did the sweet potato say to the potato when he was told to hurry?
I yam.
Do you want to hear a joke about the blunt pencil? Never mind, it's pointless.
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
What hangs low?
Balls.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!
Me: hee hee egypt.
What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night?
Hanson.
What does a condom and a coffin have in common?
They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
You. You're a joke.
