Joke jokes
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A Sax-O-Bone.
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
Me and my receding hairline? Believe me, we go way back.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
What was Beethoven's favorite insect?
The bee! :0
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
A baby seal walks into a club...
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Two of the worst jokes ever.
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Q. What did one Iron atom say to the other Iron atom?
A. "We're in the Matrix."
Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
What do you call an orphan fish?
Self-ish.
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
What did the sweet potato say to the potato when he was told to hurry?
I yam.
Do you want to hear a joke about the blunt pencil? Never mind, it's pointless.