Joke jokes
I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.
Why did the chicken kill himself?
To get to the other side.
Dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
Q. What did one Iron atom say to the other Iron atom?
A. "We're in the Matrix."
Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
Why are a gun and a bag of chips alike?
You pull them out at school and everyone wants to be your friend.
What is long and hard and full of seamen?
A submarine.
What ended in 1999? 1998.
What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?
Twilight Special.
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
What did the terrorist do when his kidneys failed?
Dial-ISIS!
What is black, smells bad, and long? Line to social services.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon.
My joke is:
My life.
Why did the football player go to the bank?
To get his quarter back.
What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night?
Hanson.