Joke jokes
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A Sax-O-Bone.
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3
Biggest joke?
[Image of Zac Efron]
A baby seal walks into a club...
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
What ended in 1999? 1998.
What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...
What hangs low?
Balls.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Two of the worst jokes ever.
Dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
Why are a gun and a bag of chips alike?
You pull them out at school and everyone wants to be your friend.
What is long and hard and full of seamen?
A submarine.
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
What was Beethoven's favorite insect?
The bee! :0
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Knock knock.
"Cow goes."
No, silly, cows go moo!
Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.