Joke

Joke jokes

Pirate

A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.

The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"

The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"

Shooter

I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.

Language

Did you hear the one about the deaf person?

Me: No.

That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.

Comedian

My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...

Sex

Why do women always have sex with the lights off?

Because they never like to see a man having a good time.

Refrigerator

What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?

The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.

Bullshit

If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.

Guy

Did you hear about the guy who invented the first knock knock joke?

He won the No Bell Prize!

Floor

I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3

Kid

Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."