Joke Jokes

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter; he's not coming.

What was Osama's favourite food... yer nan?

Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.

Big penis.

What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?

You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.

Vegans: Save the Earth.

Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!

A blonde walks into a bar.

Ouch.

I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.

What happens when an angel and nun "have some fun and forget pills"?

The nun gets pregNUNt.

What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.

What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.

(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...

What is the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?

A mosquito stops sucking after you f*cking slap it.

What did the penis say to its pee?

"Urine."

What did the watch say to the failing watch company?

"You better watch it!"

I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was.

To bitch them is my real test, to train them is my cause.

I will travel across the land, searching far and wide.

Fuse Pokemon to UnderStand, the power that’s inside.

Poke him on! Gotta train them all it’s Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you’re my best friend, In a world you must defend, Poke him on! Gotta train them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!! Gotta train them all, Gotta train them all! Pokemon!