Joke jokes
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.
Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
What do KFC and a brothel have in common?
They’re both full of greasy chicks.
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"
What do you call two natives in a sleeping bag?
Twix.
You know when people say a joke about living?
That's because we are all living a joke.
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
What is the worst joke ever? It's you.