Joke jokes
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!
Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!
Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.
Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait
Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
What do KFC and a brothel have in common?
They’re both full of greasy chicks.
What do you call two natives in a sleeping bag?
Twix.
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I'll rate this a 9/11.
Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken!