Joke jokes
Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.
What's the most illegal activity in Africa?
Watering the plants.
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
What do you call an emo friend group?
The Suicide Squad.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
So my dad tells these jokes and someone posted one on this website so...
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb? 101, one to hold the light bulb and 100 to spin the house.
There’s also one about a bowling ball in a bath tub he hasn’t told me that though. I'll research that.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school?
Hi.
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
Stop with the dead baby jokes. We're running out of babies.