Joke jokes
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
What do gay horses say?
"Hay ya'lllllllllllllll!"
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?
Daughter: *tooth hurty*
Dad: All right.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
The Bible said, "Adam and Eve..." So I did both.
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
What do you call a person with no nose and no body?
Nobody knows.
Why can’t orphans work at SC Johnson’s?
Because it’s a family company.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A self-portrait.
A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Teacher: Why do people snore?
Me: Because they sleep.
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.