Joke

Joke jokes

Book

Why did the math book kill itself?

It had too many problems.

Dad

What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?

Nothing, they both ran off.

Mum

Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.

Comedian

The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.

Dad

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

Dandruff

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?

Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.

Cow

What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?

You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.

Glory Hole

How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?

Tell him that it is a confessional booth.

Sister

My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.

Redhead

How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?

She unlocks the handcuffs.

Mother-in-law

My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.

Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.

Butterfly

My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.

She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.