Joke jokes
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
What's wrong with airline food...! They're not black, and they're not people. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! You're welcome?
Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
What kind of man would be a lesbian's best friend? A decimen.
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.