Joke jokes
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot wheels.
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
Give a man a match, and he's warm for a few minutes. Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
Uranus is larger than Neptune, but Neptune is more massive/heavier. (Fact not joke, also Neptune, don't kill me!)
Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
...
What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?
I don’t like the taste of broccoli.
What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."
Are you George Floyd?
Cause you take my breath away! 😮💨
I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."
That joke didn't land well, did it?