Joke jokes
Top tip; if your wife asks, "What would you like to do to my body?" 'Identify it' is the wrong answer.
Give a man a match, and he's warm for a few minutes. Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
Anyone can do a Michael Jackson impression. All you need is a small boy who can keep a secret.
Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?
Why can't orphans play GTA? Because they're not wanted.
If it’s called the “living room,” why did my grandma die there?
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
What's wrong with airline food...! They're not black, and they're not people. hahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahXD!!!!!!!!! You're welcome?
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
Q: What will we give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.
What did one butthole say to the other?
"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words: "You still holding the ladder, son?"
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
What does lmao mean?
Launch Missiles at orphanage.
What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?
You just got fruit-rolled.