Joke jokes

What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"

Did you know that the F in orphan means family?

There's no F in orphan?

Exactly.

What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?

A bath bomb.

Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?

The quiet kid: Splosion.

Teacher: What comes after A?

The quiet kid: AK-47.

Teacher: Faints.

Stop with the 9/11 jokes.

They're not gonna fly.

Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.

What’s another term for a lesbian?

A vagetarian.

I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."

I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."

Are you George Floyd?

Cause you take my breath away! 😮‍💨

What’s the difference between broccoli and little girls?

I don’t like the taste of broccoli.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?

You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.

That joke didn't land well, did it?

What were Michael Jackson's last words? "Take me to the children's hospital."

I pushed a dog into a fire and said, "Hot dog!"

I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.

If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.

Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"

Kid: "A leopard."

Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."

Kid: "Broooooooooooo."

I will never forget my grandpa's last words: "You still holding the ladder, son?"

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.