Joke

Joke jokes

Abuse

What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

You can’t abuse an alligator.

  • 2
  • Rape

    What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?

    “Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”

  • 8
  • Penis

    You wanna hear a joke about my penis?

    Never mind, it’s too long.

  • 4
  • Playground

    Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."

    Paranoia

    A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"

    Chemist

    Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?

    A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!

    Friend

    What's the worst thing about having a Congolese friend?

    He always needs a hand.

    Word

    To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.

    Orphan

    What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"

    Torch

    I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.

    Orphan

    Did you know that the F in orphan means family?

    There's no F in orphan?

    Exactly.