Joke jokes
What happened to the frog that parked illegally?
He was toad away.
Get it?
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂
What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?
Removing a bomb.
An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.
This guy tried to kill me, and I asked, "What is this? Friday the Thirteenth?" Michael replied, "Nah, it's Halloween."
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. Depression who? Depression you!
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pasta?
Spaghett-hehe.
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
I'd tell you a Kobe joke.
But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.
I was walking in the forest with my gf.
I had a Desert Eagle for protection.
A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.