Joke jokes
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
I respect anyone who devotes their life to charity work.
But I think Paul Walker went a step too far.
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
What do you call a heterosexual man giving a brojob to another heterosexual man?
gay now, heterosexual later.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
I'm gonna stop telling rape jokes...
They just seem so forced.
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
What do you call a cow that eats grass?
A lawn mooer.
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
I'd tell ya a poop joke, but you're my favorite turd.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."