Joke jokes
What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!
What do you call an Indian with pink hair?
Ghandi floss.
What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?
They both lie over little boys 😂
Why is it ok to smack an orphan?
What are they going to do? Tell their parents!
What do a priest and a McDonalds have in common?
They both slide their meat in 10 year old buns.
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
God, I love telling children their parents love them, but only on April Fools'. They're orphans, after all.
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
Everywhere.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
I don't like making 9/11 jokes because every joke about 9/11 I make has a tendency to crash and burn.
What do orphans call a family pic?
A selfie.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
Your birth certificate is a complaint to the condom factory.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?
How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.