Joke jokes

Why are orphans so skinny?

They never eat anything that is family size.

A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.

The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.

- I think you're EGGcellent.

+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.

- Really? Are you done yet?.

+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.

One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"

I got udder jokes too.

Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."

Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.

What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?

"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"

At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"

Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?

So you're the one!

What's black, gold, and red all over?

Tupac in Vegas.

What do you call a black person in a dark room?

Invisible.

These jokes are so dark that their life matters.

I’d tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.

What does a perverted frog say?

"Rubbit."

What's a rapist's fav position?

Missionary in a dark corner.

What's long and not very hairy?

The conga line at the cancer department.

I would make a joke about your mom, but cows are sacred in my country.