Joke jokes
What do you call a Russian man with three balls?
'Whodya nikabollokov'
Three men walk into heaven at the same time. They all live in the same city. God asks the first man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I have a heart condition, and I've been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. Anyway, I get home from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hanging off the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guy's fingers! He falls into a bush, so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I was cleaning the windows, and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! Luckily, I fall safely in a bush! But then a refrigerator falls on me!" God asks the third man, and he says, "I was the one in the fridge!"
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
Why did the orphan become a prostitute?
Because they needed someone to call "daddy".
😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
What do you call an orphan with a boner?
Porn.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
What do you call a deaf animal?
Anything, it can't hear you.
Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.
How do you know when your girlfriend is too young?
You have to make airplane noises to get her to open her mouth.
Sorry.
About the guy who gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater...
He thought it was the most violent book he'd ever read.
What flour do orphans use when baking? Self-Raising (Rising).
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents called her Cindy, so we should probably continue calling her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
What's Gru's favorite Beyoncé lyric? "Who run the world... Gorls."
Your spelling is more morbid than any of these jokes.