Joke jokes
So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.
I’m just kidding.
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?
De-presso.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
What do you call 4 black guys and 2 white guys?
The Oreo Gang!
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.
Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.