Joke jokes
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
How does the zebra cross the road?
The zebra crossing.
I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."
Q. Why do orphans love elevators?
A. Because they're the only things to raise them.
What makes a healthy normal man different to a disabled man?
"They can move it, move it." (from King Julian)
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
What's a benefit of being an orphan?
No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school?
Father-in-law.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a leaf? Only one falls down the family tree.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
What's the difference between a Mexican and a drawer?
The drawer has papers.
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
I would say life's a joke, but I can't, because jokes have a meaning.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because they can call someone "father."