Joke jokes

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3

A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.

What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.

I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.

What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"

How does the zebra cross the road?

The zebra crossing.

I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."

What does the policeman say to the jumper?

"Hey! Pullover!"

I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.

What was Helen Keller's favorite color?

Velcro.

What do you call a pineapple in a pun?

A Puneapple.

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...

What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))

Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.

Wanna hear a joke about corn?

Never mind, it's too corny.

What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.

Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.

Well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...

Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."

Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.

We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"

Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.