There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
Joke Jokes
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
My son came up to me and said, "Dad, I'm depressed."
I pointed to the spare room and said, "Hang in there, son."
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.
Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?
I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
Why do people hate abortion jokes?
It leaves you with an empty feeling inside.
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
