Joke jokes
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
Me: My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, and I had her wheelchair.
Me: Guess who came crawling right back?
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
Déjà Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
What do you call a running chicken?
Scared.
Vagina jokes aren’t funny, period.
Cremation:
My last hope for a smoking hot body.
My favorite joke: My life.
Sans: Zzzzzzzz.
Papyrus: SANS, WAKE UP!!
Sans: What is it, dude?
Papyrus: A human has fallen from the surface world!
Sans: And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??
What do you call a musician 👩🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
Why did Steven Hawking's snot not go to heaven?
Because there is no ramp to heaven.
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
What is 80 feet wide and has 22 teeth?
Answer: The front row of a Trump Rally!
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.
B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clara who wasted away.
D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.
F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George smothered under a rug.
H is for Hector done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.
J is for James who took lye by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.
N is for Neville who died of ennui.
O is for Olive run through with an awl.
P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.
R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits.
T is for Titus who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain.
V is for Victor squashed under a train.
W is for Winnie embedded in ice.
X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.
Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.