Joke jokes
Cremation:
My last hope for a smoking hot body.
My favorite joke: My life.
What do you call a musician 👩🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
A is for Amy who fell down the stairs.
B is for Basil assaulted by bears.
C is for Clara who wasted away.
D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach.
F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech.
G is for George smothered under a rug.
H is for Hector done in by a thug.
I is for Ida who drowned in a lake.
J is for James who took lye by mistake.
K is for Kate who was struck with an axe.
L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks.
M is for Maud who was swept out to sea.
N is for Neville who died of ennui.
O is for Olive run through with an awl.
P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl.
Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire.
R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire.
S is for Susan who perished of fits.
T is for Titus who flew into bits.
U is for Una who slipped down a drain.
V is for Victor squashed under a train.
W is for Winnie embedded in ice.
X is for Xerxes devoured by mice.
Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in.
Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.
Here are some rules to make a good joke:
1: Don't say “my life.”
2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.
3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
What do you call the girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Why did the feminist kill herself?
Because she was TRIGGERED.
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.
What is long and black? The line at Popeyes.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.