Joke jokes
Me: What did one toilet say to the other?
You: What?
Me: You look flushed!
Who says white people can't jump?
Have you seen the 911 footage?
If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.
My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
Q: What do you call 6 gay men in the army?
A: Rainbow Six Siege.
What is long that Paul Walker can fit into his mouth? A long black tree.
Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
Give a man a match; he will be warm for hours.
Set him on fire; he will be warm for the rest of his life.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.
A girl named Sally has no arms.
"KNOCK KNOCK"
She never answered...
What's worse than placing 10 babies in a trash can?
Placing 1 baby in 10 trash cans...
I came here to laugh.
What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”
Me: I named my dog Five Miles so I can tell people I walk five miles every day.
Old man: I ran over five miles today.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.