Joke jokes

Want to hear a joke about milk? No, it's too cheesy.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?

I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Just cut the rope.

Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"

Dad: "Yes, we arson."

Why was 10 scared of 9?

Because 9 8 7.

What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?

"This is a stand-up."

Why did the orphan cross the road?

To finally get his milk.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You make them clap until they go home.

A joke becomes a dad joke when it leaves for milk and never comes back.

Yesterday, I saw a "woman's rights" book in the library, so I put it in the fiction section and got kicked out.

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."

Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."

Kid 1: "As if."

Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."

Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

You know Bofa? Bofa deez nuts.

Friend: How dark IS your humor?

Me: It started an organization against cops.

Why do orphans always have water in their cereal? Because the dad never came back with the milk.

When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.

A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.

What do you call a Russian man with three balls?

'Whodya nikabollokov'

What's a furry's favorite news network?

Fox!

I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.

What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.

Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.

Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.

Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.

Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.