Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Joke Jokes
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
If gay means happy, then I am now straight.
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
what was sally's role in a football game?
the football ;-;
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
Down Syndrome is already a joke.
Why do orphans work boomerangs?
Because it's the only thing that comes back.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.
