Joke jokes
This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you.
All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?
Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
What's your mom on?
Deez nuts!
Kid: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Kid: Why diddncjcjcbfjcbcjdbbskzmzj b b j no?
Me:?
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell it to clap until his/her parents are back.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
Why do orphans not like jokes?
Because they hate your "mom" and "dad" joke because they miss their parents. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
What did the mommy tomato tell the little tomato?
You better ketchup!
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
A woman walks into a library and asks if they have any books about paranoia. The librarian says, "They're right behind you!"
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"