Joke jokes
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?
He made no cents.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
What did the racist serial killer say to the cop?
“Wait, you’re getting paid?”
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?
“Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
Down Syndrome is already a joke.
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.
I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
If gay means happy, then I am now straight.