Joke jokes
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
You can keep the tip.
Want to hear a joke about milk? No, it's too cheesy.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Just cut the rope.
What's a furry's favorite news network?
Fox!
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
Why was 10 scared of 9?
Because 9 8 7.
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until they go home.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To finally get his milk.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Yesterday, I saw a "woman's rights" book in the library, so I put it in the fiction section and got kicked out.
Why do orphans always have water in their cereal? Because the dad never came back with the milk.
You know Bofa? Bofa deez nuts.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.