Joke jokes
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To finally get his milk.
Why do orphans always have water in their cereal? Because the dad never came back with the milk.
Yesterday, I saw a "woman's rights" book in the library, so I put it in the fiction section and got kicked out.
You know Bofa? Bofa deez nuts.
Friend: How dark IS your humor?
Me: It started an organization against cops.
What's a furry's favorite news network?
Fox!
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Just cut the rope.
Why was 10 scared of 9?
Because 9 8 7.
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!