Joke jokes
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?
“Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
Down Syndrome is already a joke.
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS Arrrrr.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
If gay means happy, then I am now straight.
What's red and blue and runs up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.
I have an orphan joke, but it needs parental guidance.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose.
Why do orphans work boomerangs?
Because it's the only thing that comes back.