Joke

Joke jokes

Helen Keller

How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.

How'd she burn the other side? They called back.

Pilot

Guys, we shouldn't make jokes about 9/11. My dad was a victim.

He was the best pilot in Arab.

  • 2
  • Habit

    A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."

  • 5
  • Cheetah

    What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?

    You can't beat a cheetah!

    Friend

    Jesus and his friend went fishing. They both cast their lines out, and both of them get a bite, but Jesus's friend misses and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's a bad sentence to say; if you say it 3 times, something bad will happen to you." They cast it out again, and both get a bite, and Jesus's friend misses again and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus replied, "If you say that one more time, something bad will happen." They cast out again, and Jesus's friend's line snaps, and he says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's the last time something bad will happen." The biggest thunderstorm ever seen appeared, and a lightning bolt struck Jesus, and a voice came from the clouds, "Damn, I missed."

  • 2
  • Hand

    What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?

    An Amish Mechanic.

    Man

    What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?

    Nothing.

  • 2
  • Wordplay

    Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

    Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.

    Wheelchair

    Me: My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, and I had her wheelchair.

    Me: Guess who came crawling right back?

  • 4
  • Mexican

    A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."

    Fetus

    What's similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the fetus inside of her? They are both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's gonna kill me."