Joke

Joke jokes

Cheetah

What did PETA say when a cheetah won 5 million dollars?

You can't beat a cheetah!

  • 3
  • Friend

    Jesus and his friend went fishing. They both cast their lines out, and both of them get a bite, but Jesus's friend misses and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's a bad sentence to say; if you say it 3 times, something bad will happen to you." They cast it out again, and both get a bite, and Jesus's friend misses again and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus replied, "If you say that one more time, something bad will happen." They cast out again, and Jesus's friend's line snaps, and he says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's the last time something bad will happen." The biggest thunderstorm ever seen appeared, and a lightning bolt struck Jesus, and a voice came from the clouds, "Damn, I missed."

    Hand

    What do you call a guy whose hand is up a horse's butt?

    An Amish Mechanic.

  • 1
  • Man

    What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?

    Nothing.

  • 2
  • Wordplay

    Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

    Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.

    Wheelchair

    Me: My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday, and I had her wheelchair.

    Me: Guess who came crawling right back?

    Mexican

    A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."

    Fetus

    What's similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the fetus inside of her? They are both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's gonna kill me."

    Brother

    A boy and his friend were walking down the street.

    Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"

    Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."

    Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."

    Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.

    He came in twice.

    (like if u understand)

    Rapist

    Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.