Joke jokes
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.
I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.
Why doesn't a skeleton dance? Because he had no body to dance with. Lol, Sans.
Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?
Why do orphans love drinking water? Because they have no milk to drink!
I would roast you but you're already so hot.
Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?
Two chinamen walk into a bar. The landlord says, "Why the same face?"
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.
There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"
Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollers at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. When I go outside tomorrow, there better be something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!" Bill says, "Ok." The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it. It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.