Joke jokes
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
My sister told me a joke.
All she said was "my life."
You: “Knock knock.” Person: “Who’s there?” You: “Leaf.” Person: “Leaf who?” You: “Leaf this house!”
*Apple bottom jeans plays*
What's an emo's favorite game?
Limbo.
(If you don't understand the joke, go look up what Limbo is.)
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but they usually crash and burn.
Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
Why is the leaning tower of pizza leaning? 'Cuz it had better reflexes than the twin towers.
Why do orphans go to church? So that they can call someone Father.