What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.
Joke Jokes
Why was the orphan so successful?
They told him, "Go big or go home," he only had one option.
What’s an orphan's favorite drink?
Fosters.
I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.
The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."
I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.
What is Alabama’s family tree? A circle.
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?
I: "Get a boomerang."
Type: "Why?"
Me: "Because for frisbee, you need friends."
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."
Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."
What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?
That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.
My fucking life, cya.
What's the difference between Nemo and my dad?
Nemo was eventually found.
