Joke jokes
What is an orphan's favorite period? Homeroom.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
What’s the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds?
There are twenty of them.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
Why do orphans eat water with their cereal? Because their father never came home with milk.
What do you call an Asian telephone?
Ling Ling.
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?
Hang in there!
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
But wait, what family? He never had one.
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.