Joke jokes
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
Keep the planet clean. It's not Uranus.
What goes 200 mph and is red?
Babies in a blender.
What do you call a school shooting survivor who grows up to be a prostitute on the West Coast?
A Sandy Hooker
"You have to be more patient!" "Will it take a long time?"
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
What’s the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds?
There are twenty of them.
How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightbulb?
Steven.
Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.