Joke jokes

An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"

What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit roll-up.

Why do orphans love drinking water? Because they have no milk to drink!

I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. How about you gobble deez nuts?

I saw an emo orphan by a tree, and I was going to give it a high-five, but instead I just let it hang.

Two chinamen walk into a bar. The landlord says, "Why the same face?"

The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.

Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.

I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.

What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.

There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"

Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.

Why doesn't a skeleton dance? Because he had no body to dance with. Lol, Sans.

I would say a good joke, but all the good ones Argon.

I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.

What do you call a paralyzed turtle?

Shell shocked.

I would roast you but you're already so hot.

Bill gets home from work late again, and Susan is angry. She hollers at Bill, "I AM FURIOUS. When I go outside tomorrow, there better be something that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!" Bill says, "Ok." The next morning there is a box outside! Susan opens it. It's a scale! Bill hasn't been seen since October 2, 2002.

Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?

A: The ins and outs of child rearing.

What's black, white, and red all over?

A nun that fell down the stairs.

What's black, white, and laughing?

The nun that pushed her.