Joke jokes
What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."
My name is Mike Oxmaul, and my friend's name is Hugh Janus!
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
What's a booty's favorite dance move?
THE BUM BOUNCE!
Why did Hitler kill people? Because it was funny! 🥵
What do orphans and broken up couples have in common?
They can't see each other anymore.
Haha, the joke is me.
If I told you, you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
An 80-year-old blind man asks his grandson, "Can you grab my glasses?"
Then the grandson says, "Did you get in the flour again?"
Grandpa said, "No, it was the weed."
What do cannibals read?
People.
Digest Readers.
When your mom fell down, a 10 magnitude earthquake shook the Earth.
Chuck Norris destroys the yo mama!
What's an orphan's favorite meme?
Homer going into a bush.
Might take a while to notice and this one is bad.
Why did the skeleton not tell jokes? It lost its funny bone. Maybe you should try putting it back.
My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.
Why? Why would you do that?