Joke jokes
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?
don't leave me hanging.
what do you call a group of emos?... The Suicide Squad.
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lion 🦁.
Lion who?
Lion again, aren't you?
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because he got stuck in a crack.
Q. What do you give a sick lemon?
A. Lemon-aid.
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
What’s the best part about having sex with 23 year olds... there’s 20 of them.
What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?
One goes limp when a child walks in the room.
Why did the Xbox player cross the road? To render in the buildings.
What do you tell a depressed person?
Just hang in there!
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.