Joke jokes
Knock knock. Who's there? A boy. A boy who? A boy who can't reach the doorbell knocking at your door.
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and Elton John?
Elton John is still standing.
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?
Tiger Woods had a good driver.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”
Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”
Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation?
You: No.
Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."
Then which one are you?
What’s the difference between a chromosome and a hormone?
You can hear a hormone.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
It's not rape if she doesn't say no.
Two options: - Chloroform. - Duct Tape.
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
James: I have a joke. Sex!
Ronny: I don't get it.
James: Exactly.