Joke jokes
What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?
Answer: Hair Force One!
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.
Two husbands walk into a bar.
The first one says, "My wife is an angel."
The second one says, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."
How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"
What do you call a dead baby?
Spawn killed.
I saw an emo orphan by a tree, and I was going to give it a high-five, but instead I just let it hang.
September 11th. #BringYourPlaneToWorkDay
Why do orphans love drinking water? Because they have no milk to drink!
The difference between my life and a joke is that a joke has meaning.
Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.
I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.
There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"
I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.
Why doesn't a skeleton dance? Because he had no body to dance with. Lol, Sans.
What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit roll-up.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.