Joke jokes

Dark humor is like cancer, it's even funnier when children get it.

My best friend got ligma. (Ah, did he? Sorry bro.) LIGMA BALLS!

What's the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?

One has a home.

What is a gay person’s favorite book?

The dictionary.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, but Jill fell down and Jack came tumbling down after.

(And you thought this would be a joke.)

I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.

I usually don’t make school shooting jokes.

Because they’re aimed at a younger audience.

What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.

Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."

What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?

There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.

What is Hitler's favorite food? A hindenburger.

Two husbands walk into a bar.

The first one says, "My wife is an angel."

The second one says, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."

Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.

What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?

Answer: Hair Force One!

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.

There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"

I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.

What do you call a paralyzed turtle?

Shell shocked.

I tried to take a fog machine, but I took the wrong one. Needless to say, it was a big mist-take.