Joke jokes
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
What did everyone say about the crazy unemployed homeless man?
He made no cents.
Q: What's the difference between an egg and me?
A: An egg gets laid.
These murder jokes are just KILLING me!
I am an actual police officer (Not gonna mention with which department in case they actually check this site) and tbh I find these jokes funny as fuck, carry on boys.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?
“Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”