Joke Jokes

I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."

If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.

Give a man a match, he'll be warm for hours.

Light the man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo?

Head N Shoulders.

Yah, hurtful towards you. Bro took it personally, literally.

Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.

What would you rate this woman?

A 7.

Why?

Because 7 ate 9!

Two men ran into a bar. You would have thought after the first one hit it, the second one would have seen it.

Why did all the numbers mourn 10? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.

Any joke that I make about 9/11 has a tendency to crash and burn.

When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.

You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!

If an orphan takes a selfie, isn't it basically a family portrait?

What did the toilet say to the other toilet? "You look a bit flushed."

What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

Predator 2.

As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers. : )