Joke jokes
I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.
So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."
Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
Best political joke... Joe Biden.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
Why did the silly girl put sugar under her pillow?
She wanted to have sweet dreams. 😂
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
What do you call someone with a pindie spot?
Stop screen recording.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of shoe?
White Vans.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
What's the best thing about an abortion joke??
No one gets offended.
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.