Joke jokes
What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it was stuck in a crack.
What do you call a Chinese millionaire?
Cha ching.
I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
I saw an emo orphan by a tree, and I was going to give it a high-five, but instead I just let it hang.
What do you call a gay drive-by? A fruit roll-up.
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
What did the orphan say to his parents? Nothing, cause they left him.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
Billy: *spits out food*
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: *looks at mom*
Mom: Shut up.
If you get it, you get it.
Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.
An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"
What's funny about sex? I don't get it!
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.