Joke jokes
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
What do you call a rich Asian?
Cha-ching!
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.
Memes
What do you tell a depressed person?
Just hang in there!
What do you call Adolf Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
Why did the Xbox player cross the road? To render in the buildings.
I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.
Feminists are a joke.
Two wind turbines were standing on a hill.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other one says, "I'm a big metal fan."
What do you call a selfie that is taken by an orphan?
Answer: A family photo.
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What do orphans, parents, and trees have in common? They leafed.
What did the orphan say to the other? "Quickly Robin, to the Batmobile!"
what did the suicidal kid say to the tree?
don't leave me hanging.
Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
Q: Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?
A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”