Joke jokes

A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"

The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂

An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.

A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."

What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?

An expiration date.

Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.

Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."

Oh, my fat joke offended you? Which one of your chins did I hurt?

Why was Hitler bad at math?

He could only count to nein.

I would make a rape joke, but I'd have to force it down your throat.

Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"

Jimmy: "That's great!"

Doctor: "A horse with cancer."

Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?

Because it's finger lickin' good!

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

You nail its other hand to the ground.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. But why did seven eat nine? Because seven knew you had to have three squared meals a day.

What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa? One stops at the top of the skyscraper.

What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.

What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.

What starts with “M” and ends with “arriage”?

Miscarriage.

My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.

Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind.

Knock knock Who’s there? Not Sally.

I was about to say an African joke, but it was too dry.

What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.

Why can't you kill a depressed person?

Because they are already dead inside.