Joke jokes
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.
Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Dark humor is just like water,
some people get it, some people don't.
What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?
"Here Comes The Airplane!"
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
Yo, your hairline over here lookin' like the Nile River.
Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
What do you call a gay kid that killed himself?
A byebyesexual.
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.
A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."
Why was Hitler bad at math?
He could only count to nein.