Joke jokes
What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
bully: "Your life's a joke."
me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
What is Al-Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets.
Me: I got kicked out of the library the other day.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because I put the women rights book in the fiction section.
Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.