Joke jokes

Why do orphans eat cereal with water?

Because dad never came back with the milk.

I was hit on by President Kennedy, too bad I shot him down.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"

An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.

if you throw it hard enough.

What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?

Nut in the butt.

What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.

You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.

What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"

Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!

Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.

Yo, your hairline over here lookin' like the Nile River.

Dark humor is just like water,

some people get it, some people don't.

Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"

Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."

Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."

Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...

Girl, scan the code on your wrist!

How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.

What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.

A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"

The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂

An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.

A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."

What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?

An expiration date.