Joke jokes
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...
What did the panther say at the Poker Party? "I would be lion if I said I was a cheetah."
I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the gay (guys/girls) house.
(Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?”
A: The chicken.
bully: "Your life's a joke."
me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.
What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?
Sixty nein.
A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.