Joke jokes

Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.

I showed my girlfriend my taser. She was stunned.

I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.

What makes an ISIS joke funny?

The execution.

During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"

How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.

This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"

I replied, "I done it as a joke."

-April 1, 2020

What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?

I cry when I chop up onions.

People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?

They're both fun to flip off.

The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁

Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?

She didn't see anything wrong with it.

My cock was in the book of world records...

The librarian told me to take it out.

What do you call a plane with no wings? Sally.

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?

Because from a distance, they looked like hare.

What do you call 2 Indians on a dating website? Connect the dots.

What do you call a person with Down syndrome in a bathtub?

Vegetable soup.

What is Al-Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.