Joke jokes
What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?
A minor.
A police officer pulls over two Catholic priests. He says he's looking for two child molesters.
The Catholic priests look at each other: "We'll do it!"
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?
Some people don’t pick it.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
what do you call a flat road named after George Floyd?
Flat neck road.
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
What do you call two gay Irishmen?
Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.
What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?
Answer: The box said 3-5 years!