Joke jokes
bully: "Your life's a joke."
me: "My life's not a joke, jokes have meaning."
Alyas' dad died, that's comedy. Something not funny is like BLM.
What's an astronaut's favorite candy? A Milky Way!
Me: Stepping on a scale to weigh myself.
Everyone else in the minefield...
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
Memes
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"
Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
It's not rape if she doesn't say no.
Two options: - Chloroform. - Duct Tape.
The more people who like to eat Tide Pods, the less idiots we have in the world. 😁
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
What do you call a person with Down syndrome in a bathtub?
Vegetable soup.
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
What is Al-Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets.