Joke jokes
Did you hear about the kidnapping? Yeah, he woke up.
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
Why didn't the koala make the finals? It got diskoalafied.
So 6 is scared of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 10 have PTSD?
He was stuck in the middle of 9/11.
I went to my boss's funeral and knelt down to his coffin and whispered, "Whose late now?"
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
What’s one thing orphans don’t have on their computer? A home page.
My therapist said: "Time heals all wounds."
I shot her, now we wait.
what do you call a terrorist attack in india?
a wednesday.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?
You can hide your own Easter Eggs!
6:30 has to be the best time, hands down.
The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?
Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.
Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?
A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."
A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"