Joke Jokes

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?

I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.

I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.

I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.

What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?

One of them is an outside job.

What do you call a Chinese millionaire?

Cha ching.

I'm the joke.

What’s the difference between a cow and Hitler jokes?

You can’t milk the cow after 12 years.

I read the joke "what we breathe is called oxygen, that is African food" to my African friend, but he is breathing in tears from his mother dying of hunger...

What starts with F and ends with uck? Firetruck, what were you thinking?

If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.

I’m about to tell you the funniest joke I heard:

Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls emergency services. The operator then hears the problem and says, “Well, let’s make sure he’s dead.” A shot is then heard. The other guy says, “Ok, now what?”

Did you laugh?

I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"

I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.

But I got fired from that job.

American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!

British: At least our towers didn’t fall. 😎

I just had the worst gig of my life! I told yo mama jokes at the orphanage.

It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”

I'd make an emo joke, but that would be cutting a little too close.

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

Because they ordered pepperoni and got plane. (Yes, it's "plain," shut.)

You're so poor, you only got 2 jokes.