Joke jokes
Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.
I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
What do you call an 18-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?
Fat people jokes.
Why do people hate jokes about the World Trade Center?
Because it's an easy target.
Why was 10 traumatized?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?
Tourists.
Yo dad is so hairy, people chased him because they thought he was Bigfoot.
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
Not a joke.
Any girls looking for a steamy hot man?
Bitches be like "you're racist." You're right, and I'm gonna win.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
What’s the difference between a Black dad and a Pizza?
One can feed a family.
Yo momma is so fat, when she tried to hang herself, the noose broke.
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!