Joke jokes
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?
Tourists.
Yo dad is so hairy, people chased him because they thought he was Bigfoot.
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
Not a joke.
Any girls looking for a steamy hot man?
Bitches be like "you're racist." You're right, and I'm gonna win.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
What’s the difference between a Black dad and a Pizza?
One can feed a family.
Yo momma is so fat, when she tried to hang herself, the noose broke.
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
What is red, pink, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What is green, brown, and goes round and round?
The same baby 3 weeks later.
Teacher: Hey Timmy (the quiet kid), what comes after X?
The quiet kid: Splosion.
Teacher: What comes after A?
The quiet kid: AK-47.
Teacher: Faints.