Joke jokes
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had "no-body" to go with.
A kid asks his mom what dark humor is.
She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.”
“But mom, I’m blind!” says the kid.
“Exactly,” replied the mom.
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
What’s the difference between Anne Frank and Harry Potter?
Only one came out of the chamber.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.
Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?
I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"
What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."