Joke jokes
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other is just a watermelon.
What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common?
You can't even deal with it!
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation?
You: No.
Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled away and his charger unplugged.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.
Why do you want me?
Cus u like me...
What do you mean?
You love me.
No.
Look down.
(This isn't really a joke btw anyway.) SpongeBob, me boy, ye ruptured me intestines with that massive c*ck of yours, agahgahagahagahagah!
3 men go to hell. Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer, you go to heaven.
The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers. He goes to hell. The next man asks if he knew how to make furniture. He goes too. The third man pokes a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle, asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said "nope this one"😂
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
What did the kid say to the toilet?
"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
Why did the bum get a slap?
Because it was being too cheeky.
Q: What did the little girl say to her leper daddy?
A: "Oops, I got your nose!"
So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: A nun falling down the stairs.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Nobody likes that joke.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.