Joke jokes
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
My wife still misses me...
But her aim is getting better!
Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tearable.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
What do you call an animal that smells?
A smelly-phant.
That joke is really not funny.
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
Worst joke ever.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Worst joke ever.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello on the other side.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side.
Nobody finds that one funny.
What did the parrot say when it saw a duck?
"Polly want a quacker!"
Worst joke ever.
Where did the king hide his armies?
In his sleevies.
Worst joke ever.
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
What did 0 say to 8?
"Hey, nice belt!"
What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.
Those two jokes are not funny at all!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Two of the worst jokes ever.
This is an a-maze-ing joke!
So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to KFC.