Joke jokes
Why don't some people like pennies?
Because it's common cents.
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.
It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.
What was Beethoven's favorite insect?
The bee! :0
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
Me: What's yellow and can't swim?
My sister: What??
Me: A school bus filled with kids.
What is 50 Cent's least favorite store?
The dollar store.
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Knock knock. Who’s there? Gary. Gary who? Gary a torch.
Yo mama so fat when she asked for a bathtub, they put a blanket over an ocean!
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
What does an apple and a gay person have in common?
Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.
Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"
Guy: That's probably because you're single.
What type of flour do orphans use to bake with...? Self-raising flour!
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?
It was having a mid-life crisis.