Joke jokes
What do you call a gold digger?
A miner.
What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?
A quarter-pounder with cheese.
Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day.
Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life.
Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?
Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!
Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?
Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!
Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?
Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
People might not laugh at my jokes, or have a reaction at all, but I'd explode with euphoria.
Periodically, people might laugh every now and then.
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, I tried. I tried harder this time. I'll try again. Sorry, I can't delete things.
Hi, I...
Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.
The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.
Us: haha penis.
Korea: That sounds like a park name.
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What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?
'Cause it was two tired!
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.
Why did 7 kill 11?
Because now 7 was even.
You might find this joke a rib-tickler, but I sure do.
I was going to tell you a joke about paper, but it was too TEAR-ABLE. HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
Steven Hawking walks into a bar... no, I'm just kidding.
Two hats are next to each other. One hat says to the other, "Stay here, I'll go on ahead."
How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh?
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.