Joke jokes
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.
What’s a cannibal's favorite food? Ramen (Ra-Men).
I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
Why did the mushroom get a new house?
Because there wasn’t mushroom!
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.
I wish I could tell you about my penis, but it's too short.
How does an American know that his time has come?
He starts hearing Vietnamese.
Knock knock.
Jou is there?
Why don't you speak English?
This is not a joke. This is not a joke.
What do you call a gold digger?
A miner.
What do you call an anorexic person with a yeast infection?
A quarter-pounder with cheese.
Give a man a plane ticket and he will fly for a day.
Push a man out of a plane and he will fly for the rest of his life.