Joke jokes

Did you fall from heaven? Or did you fall from the cliff up there?

What is 14 inches long and starts with D?

A Dookie From GREEN DAY

There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!

I’m a clown...

And everyone knows.

I make chemistry jokes periodically.

What do you do with a dead scientist?

You barium.

What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?

They both have an expiry date.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."

Then which one are you?

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.

Me walking in to the office:

Principal: Tell me, what did you do?

Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...

Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.

I know five fat people, and you're three of them.

Why did Chad date the 9 yr old?

Because Stellas hot.

Why did the pillow cross the road?

Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.

What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?

Reload... chhchhhh.

Me: Cobain!

Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.

Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Man, I love this joke: Women's rights.

Kid: What is between mom's legs?

Dad: Paradise.

Kid: What's between your legs?

Dad: The key to paradise.

Kid: Well, you better change the lock, the neighbor has the key to.