Joke jokes
Long time since I made a joke, huh? I used a Time Machine to make this one.
I forgot the joke I wanted to say.
Chat, is this real?
If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"
What starts with "N" and ends with "G?"
Nothing.
What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?
An avalanche.
How do you turn a cat into a fish?
Tell your girl not to wash down there.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?
Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?
Black matter leaves an impact.
My grandma asked me if I could visit her.
I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”