Joke jokes
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.
What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
Why do you never see gay people in wheelchairs?
You can’t be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
What can jump higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?
"That is very Wong."
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."
Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
There were four people who went to land... only three returned... Why?
They left someone for memories!