Joke jokes
My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What is the best part about Alabama prostitutes?
Family comes first.
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
Why did Ten need a therapist? He was in between 9/11.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, obviously not 10; my basement's still dark.
I just had sex...
I think I nailed it!
(Shit joke, I know.)
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? - Everywhere.
You are so scary that even your hairline ran away.
This is not a joke. Stop online dating.
What were the emo kid's pronouns?
Was/were.
What’s the difference between rape and marriage?
With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
What's the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.
Why did the baby cross the road? The car seat wasn’t strapped in.
A child, molester, and priest walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.