Joke jokes

If two blind people meet, one of them says: "Long time, no see!"

What starts with "N" and ends with "G?"

Nothing.

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?

Alabama wind chimes.

What did the man say to the deaf kid? He said...

What do you call an Asian who gets a B?

It's not a B-sian.

Dead.

I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.

What did the cops say when someone called him racist?

"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."

My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.

So I had him bring my wife.

What do you call a group of white people running down a hill?

An avalanche.

How do you turn a cat into a fish?

Tell your girl not to wash down there.

Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?

Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.

What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?

Black matter leaves an impact.

My grandma asked me if I could visit her.

I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.

What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?

Sells the wheelchair.

What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw them some laundry.

My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.

I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."

A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”

The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”

What’s the difference between Batman and the Black Panther?

Batman returns.

Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?

Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH