Joke

Joke Jokes

Difference

What's the difference between all the jokes on this page? Nothing, they're all knockoffs of old jokes you've already heard that aren't funny. Penis!

Heaven

Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.

Chair

When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."

Baby

What’s the difference between a dumpster full of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Man

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

No Body Knows.

No body nose.

Man

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows. No body, nose.

Frog

What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.

Baby

What's bright red and screams when you shake it? A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

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  • Fruit

    Fruit is like ex-wives.

    They both look really good hanging from a tree.

    Battery

    It's said Duracell batteries are supposed to last 75 years, well Stephen, here you are.

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  • Water

    What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?

    If you throw water over them, they both die...

    Snack Bar

    When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"

    Lyric

    What's Gru's favorite Beyoncé lyric? "Who run the world... Gorls."

    Leaf

    Why do leaves change color in the fall?

    Because they want to leaf their old color.