Joke jokes
What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"