Joke jokes
Wanna hear a joke?
Your outfit. Har har!
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?
You wave at him.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
Daddy.
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Aarghraawa."
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... "How many fingers am I holding up?"
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?
Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"
Wanking.
If you want a joke, look at yourself in the mirror!