Joke jokes
My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.
We never met again.
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Why did Adam commit suicide? Andy went through the back door.
More like so they can fuck him, am I right?
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Yeah, neither has he!
What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.
So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.
Why does Aaron always look depressed? Because his grandma's dead.
A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"
The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."
This is the biggest joke ever - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5j-BH_WdBXdzeoOdG2v2dA
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
Knock knock.
Boo.
No need to cry, it was only a joke. Yeh, I can't think of anything.
Q: What's the best way to eat a squirrel?
A: Open up its little legs.
To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?
A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.
He yells, "Hello ladies!"
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.