Joke jokes
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered six offender.
Wanna hear a joke?
Your outfit. Har har!
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?
You wave at him.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
Daddy.
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Aarghraawa."
What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?
A Sandy Hook.
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... "How many fingers am I holding up?"
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?
Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.