I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
Joke Jokes
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
How do you cook macaroni? With a shark-spoon-a-rooni!
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!
What was Osama's favourite food... yer nan?
My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."
Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?
I heard it was because of pier pressure.
If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?
What do you call a cow with three legs?
My ex.
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?
A: Because they are humerus.
What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.
One day a fh iufh uig8v cdy ufh pufvbf ufiu pofiu9fh fiv9fd and a ihefipuivbrivbvhbuirhvbifbvirvueuvgevuebvuerevheubyebubv8ub and a uhckebckjebicbevivhcbehvhbeuybvuebvubvbevcb and one uchercvievciouevihevc98f9p8r78797t587t987dbgioubriogbrihj and they all say we are hacks.
What did the American say to the Russian?
"Why are you always Russian?"
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry, it's just a couple.
What's the difference between a businessman and a businesswoman? Wo!
I call my girlfriend .05 because she's a bag I blow into when I've had a few drinks.