Job jokes

You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.

I went into a forest with my sharp laptop with F13. Now I'm a real HACKER.

What did Bob the police officer say to his chest?

"You're under a vest."

What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.

"When I was a child, my blind mother taught me hand jobs, like carpentry and painting with her legs."

A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."

Why does the pimp always use job fairs as a way of recruiting new hoes?

He always gets a great turnout.

I made a joke about unemployed people. It didn’t work.

Guys to wind the clock up?

I wrote a few jokes:

What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.

Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.

What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.

What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?

A Catholic priest.

Why did the man decide to work at a pizza place?

Because he kneaded the dough!

Jobs,

50 shapes head.

I hear coal mining is a rock-bottom job.

What do you call an empty police station?

Banana Chicken.

What's a psych ward worker's favorite incense?

Insurance fraud.

Why is Job good at Minecraft? Because he is noob, noob, noob, noob, noob. NOOB!

I have a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. It's a shame they never work!

So, about a year ago I was riding a horse, and out of nowhere the horse tried to flip me off it and I fell off. I would have been OK, but my foot got stuck in the stirrup. The horse dragged me along and didn't stop.

I would have died if it weren't for the Walmart manager who came out and unplugged the horse.

The man was Indian. He moved to England because he wanted to learn, so got a job at the store. He learned how to say "register," then he was a business man. He learned how to say "59887," then "restaurant," so he learned how to say "fork and knives." So a man came with a knife. The cop came and asked the man which was the killer who killed him. He said, "Him," and pointed to the Indian man. The cop asked, "What did you use?" He said, "Register." The cop asked for ID. "59887." The cop asked, "Anything on you, forks and knife?" He said, "Me me me."