Job jokes

Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.

The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.

"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."

"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."

The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.

"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."

Someone goes into a bar and asks for a blow job. The barman goes, "Me too." But then the guy goes, "I meant the drink."

I did a good job and walk walk home and walk walk to the car and drive. What is the difference between a good [what]?

Q: Why did the teacher die?

A: Because he hated his life.

Hi, I got fired. Oh, don't know which fire? Oh, the one that I got burned on, the volcano.

One day I was working at the bank, doing my job. Then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Then I told her that her balance is un-balanced.

Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?

A. She didn't know how to swallow.

Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.

Some people don't appreciate what I do for a living.

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My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.

Finally my father came early from office today. I am very happy.

He was fired from his job.

My dad has a pretty shitty job.

I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!

What is the biggest fear of firefighters?

Burnout at work.

Yo mama so fat, when she had an interview for NASA, they said, "We don't hire planets."

Her: Eat my ass!

Me: Yes, chef!

Toothbrush: I think I have the worst job ever.

Toilet paper: Ya, right.

All then are bad.

I went for a walk today, and I did a good job of telling what time it was.

Job sucks. XD