My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
Are you fin-ished with your work?
What state do miners hate?
Oregon.
Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?
I tried to hit G by putting D.
I got to work.
Ben: Oh no, my boss is here. I hate my job and I'm terrified of my boss.
Ben: Uh, hey, hey Mr. Boss.
Boss: Have a nice day.
Ben: Ok, bye!
Boss:??
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.
The toughest job I ever had was when I was selling doors, door-to-door.
I had some puns about construction, but I'm still working on them.
It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.
My sister lost two things today:
1: Her virginity.
2: Her job at the zoo.
Why did the police play baseball?
Why?
He wanted to play catch.
Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.
Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.
Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.
Amber: Fine!!!!!
How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
Yo mama is so fat, when she was a spy, she was called "double obese."
1: Hey.
2: What?
1: We're outta paint.
2: *HMM*
(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)
Why was Elon Musk unable to land a job as a television host at NBC?
His own car cannot catch up with Jay Leno's Corvette!
When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.
I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.
Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.
