Job Jokes

what is the perfect job for a paedophile

a physical doctor for kids

It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus

What is bus driver that does not work? A useless one ☝️

John : hi boss it is raining heavily today so I would not be coming

Boss: u stated in ur job application that swimming was it hobby so see u at at 11am

I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets. He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.

I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener - pushing up the daisies!

Why did the rapper get a job at the bank?

Because he wanted to make some RAP DEPOSITS

Why did the rapper become a gardener?

Because he wanted to drop some ROOT RHYMES

Why did the rapper become a plumber?

Because he wanted to lay down some SICK PIPES

What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower? Unemployed

Literally the most popular job: youtube

Three men are travelling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, suddenly they stumble across a tent and inside is three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny too so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince and these three women were his wives so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is: The guy says, "I'm a fireman" The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!" The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range" The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!" The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman

A man is meeting a client in Japan, yet arrives a day early. When night hit he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, yet the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says "What do you mean wrong hole!?"