Job jokes
My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?
The Home Depot.
Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!
I did a good job of being home from school.
Why is a waiter good at math?
Because he knows his TABLES! 🤣
I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
The man fired from the World Trade Center on September 10.
That is just plain wrong.
So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.
I saw a girl crying. I asked her where her parents were, and she started to cry even more.
Man, I love working in the orphanage.
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.
I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback!
As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣
I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.