Job jokes

I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.

My career is worth more than your adoption.

What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!

Why was the duck fired from the train station?

He was a bad conducktor!

Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.

I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣

Why is a waiter good at math?

Because he knows his TABLES! 🤣

As a doctor myself, that nurse was very slow, she tested my patience!

Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback!

I did a good job of being home from school.

I saw a girl crying. I asked her where her parents were, and she started to cry even more.

Man, I love working in the orphanage.

I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)

So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.

Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

I put on my hazmat suit, and grabbed my equipment, and said, "My time to shine!"

I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.

Why couldn't the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave Earth?

There wasn't enough space to fly it.