Job Jokes

I've got a job defusing landmines It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet

being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. they get to play Cut the rope on the job all the time!

I got fired from my job at the bank today. An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Interviewer: what are your strengths? Interviewee: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: and your weaknesses? Interviewee: those beautiful green eyes of yours...

Why do orphans like boomerang more then there parents? The boomerang comes back

One day I saw a kid cry so I go. Let's go find your parents. I miss my job at the orphanage

why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room

Why can't orphans get a job? Because they don't have a home.

What is a gay man's favorite job? a blowjob

Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.

Why did the rapper become a carpenter?

To build some SOLID BARS

At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”

I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.

I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week, guess you could say it was a brief case

what did the hurricane say to the coconut tree

hold on to your nuts this ain't no ordinary blow job

The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired you still have to show up the next day.

My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.