Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
"Prostitutes love their jobs; they're always having a blast!"
A man goes into a job interview and sits down.
The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?"
The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!"
The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!"
The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."
I went to the bank to apply for a Personal Loan.
Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper, so they didn't want to Post M"loan."
Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company.
Probably top.
Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
My grandfather died at Auschwitz.
Poor fella fell off the guard tower.
As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.
My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."
Why did the manager hire the marsupial?
Because he was koala-fied!
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
I want a job cleaning mirrors. I could really see myself doing it!
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.
How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
